Is She, or Isn't She?

Fellow classic film lover and royal consort of one of my dearest friends, Trav SD wrote a scrumptious piece yesterday on J.C.'s birthday chronicling the layers of discovery he went through with La Crawford and her filmwork.

Personally, I have always bristled at the gorgon image of Crawford from Mommie Dearest (1981) and some of her later work. It is an extreme enough image to be laughed at and lampooned- but not to be believed. I think in most of Crawford's films- even the ones where she overplays the bitchery (like Queen Bee (1955)), she always finds at least a moment to dig beneath the vicious veneer and show the vulnerability of a woman who became hard not because she wanted to- but because it was how she survived.

I think Crawford was an actress who perpetually used the truth of her own experience to fuel her art. And I, for one, am grateful for that.

Happy Belated, Cranberry!

Top 5 Camp Classics!

It's the 60th Anniversary of The Ten Commandments and TCM Big Screen Classics is celebrating by releasing the film in theaters March 20th and 23rd. I'm going to celebrate by including the movie on my Top 5 Camp Classics List!

Camp movies, it might be said, are all in the eye of the beholder. The films included can be everything from drag farce, to epic misfires, to schlocky horror. Not everyone agrees that certain films are camp, and definitions can be a little hazy. But I'm going to take a crack at it anyway.

Successful camp often comes from a film that was produced very seriously- overly so to the point that it feels like "too much." This results in films that are failing so badly at their intended reactions that we find ourselves laughing at them. For me, true camp (with the exception of genre genius John Waters) is not made on purpose. It's the product of a director and/or actors who are not aware how their film is being received by the audience. In other words, camp is one of the most rare of genres because these gems of thwarted expectations are totally accidental.

Here are my Top 5 Camp Classics:

1. The Ten Commandments (1956)

Cecil B. DeMille made EPICS! From as early as the silent era, DeMille made big budget films that included casts of thousands and massive sets- some of which were so large, they were just left in the desert where they were built. DeMille's great ability was to create films that were so extravagant, they had to be seen to be believed. The studios were happy to indulge his cinematic flamboyance because in the '50's, a DeMille film was an event that could compete with the television- the biggest threat to the movie business at that time. And there was no bigger story for DeMille to tell than the story of Moses.

DeMille pulled out all the stops. He spent $13 million dollars on the production (that's $130 mill in today's dollars), shot on location in the Sinai, and a cast a vast army of actors led by: Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Edward G. Robinson, Yvonne De Carlo, Nina Foch, Cedric Hardwicke, Judith Anderson, and Vincent Price.

One look at the cast, and you can see why this serious epic has become a delightful piece of high camp. It's a who's-who of scenery chewers, each one greater at hamming it up than the next. And the bible-inspired dialogue thuds deliciously off of their tongues.

"You will be king of Egypt, and I will be your footstool!"

"Where's your Moses now?"

"Oh Moses, Moses, why of all men did I fall in love with a prince of fools?"

The lines can't be delivered with a straight face- but they are- desperately so. With its eye-popping costumes, sets, and special effects, the film is like a fabulous biblical theme park- it's so ridiculously gaudy, we can't wait to ride it again and again.
The Ten Commandments was a huge hit at the box office, currently ranking 6th in all-time box office receipts (adjusted for inflation). Ironically, Hollywood wised-up and sold its movies to television, and The Ten Commandments became an Easter staple in living rooms around the country. But nothing beats watching hirsute Chuck Heston part the Red Sea on the big screen.

Oh The Ten Commandments, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!

2. Female Trouble (1974)

As mentioned in my intro, John Waters is one of those rare directors who makes camp films on purpose. Much of this stems from The Pope of Trash's desire to poke convention in the eye with a handheld camera. With his muse Divine (Harris Glen Milstead's mascara-ed alter ego) Waters became the king of a whole new genre of underground cinema. His first shot at filthy stardom came with 1972's Pink Flamingos where he shocked viewers with a singing a-hole (no, not Ted Nugent- an actual a-hole that lip-synced)  and Divine eating dog crap on camera. Two years later, Waters applied his special brand of perversity to the story of juvenile delinquent Dawn Davenport (Divine).

From the first moment we see Dawn tramping around the Christmas tree hollering about cha-cha heels we know this girl is no good. So it comes as no surprise that Dawn rebels against marriage and motherhood by becoming a famous murder artist. Along with Divine, Waters' cast of regulars includes Mink Stole as Divine's obnoxiously twitchy daughter Taffy, porcine Edith Massey as the loud-mouthed-crammed-into-her-costume Aunt Ida, and David Lochary and Mary Vivian Pierce as fashionista perverts The Dashers.

Waters has no interest in conforming to film standards in order to tell a story or draw us into a make-believe world. The five cent budget, dialogue improvisation, handheld camerawork, and performers who don't look or act like actors leave the audience not with the idea that we've seen a film- but the most fucked-up home movie ever made. Waters would later clean-up his filmmaking and score a mainstream hit with Hairspray (1988), but I prefer my Waters dirty.

3. Lady in a Cage (1964)

Olivia de Havilland is one of the most memorable actresses of the studio system who starred in such great films as Gone With the Wind (1939), and The Heiress (1949). But by 1964, de Havilland did what many older actresses like Bette David and Joan Crawford did to make a quick buck- she starred in a low-budget horror movie. 

Lady in a Cage starts off with a strange, Saul Bass-esque montage of images- a young black girl rolling her roller skate over a passed out drunk, a dead dog lying in the street, people necking while an evangelist preaches over the radio about an anti-Satan missile. Mrs. Cornelia Hilyard (de Havilland) lives in a house along a busy street. But the calm and quiet of her "looks bigger-on-the-inside" home screens out the noisy outside world. Corny (that's what I like to call her) broke a hip recently and now has to get around with a cane, and an elevator. Yes, you heard right, an elevator.

To go from her bedroom to the living room, Corny has to get into an elevator that feels like it takes 20 minutes to go down one floor. She doesn't mind. She takes along her transistor radio and patiently waits to descend. But today is a bad day for Corny. Her gay son who lives with her has left for the weekend to commit suicide and due to a freak accident with a garbage truck out back, the power to Corny's house is knocked out- while she's suspended over the ground floor in her elevator.

And if that isn't bad enough, a group of drug-addled hippies (led by a young and very hairy James Caan) find out she's trapped and come to rob her home and create general mayhem. The plot is ludicrous, and for a good portion of the film you have to keep yourself from screaming, "JUST JUMP!!!" at the screen- but there's de Havilland. The poise and stature of this regal lady rises above the film and endows it with a gravitas it doesn't truly deserve.

When Corny decides to fight back with a war cry of, "Welcome to the Stone Age!" you abandon all logic and go along with her. I think this film is trying to make a commentary on how the chaos of the Sixties was invading our personal lives- but you'll be too busy watching De Havilland try to knock a phone off the hook with a homemade Grab-It to care.

4. Mommie Dearest (1981)

I have a love/hate relationship with Mommie Dearest. I mean, it's the film that effectively destroyed Joan Crawford's cinematic image forever, and I can't forgive it for that. But God it's fun to watch.

Faye Dunaway stars as Joan Crawford- or at least Dunaway's version of Joan Crawford. In Dunaway's hands, Crawford becomes a glamorous gorgon- a woman who is meticulously in control of everything around her- including her image. Whether she's jogging, putting on elbow cream, or chopping down rose bushes, Dunaway uses the dramatic gestures and voice of an ACTRESS to depict Crawford. Dunaway was obsessed with this role- to the point she felt that Crawford was haunting her. The line between actress and role feels frayed, as if Dunaway didn't just play Crawford but became her.

But is this what Crawford was really like? Even Christina Crawford whose book started this whole mess announced after seeing the movie, "That's not my mother." While Crawford had major difficulty differentiating between public and private, the idea that she was Mildred Pierce behind closed doors is hard to swallow- no matter how enthralling it might be to imagine. Whether Dunaway captures the real Crawford is hardly the point, though. What she does is create a fascinating caricature that is endlessly entertaining in its rejection of reality for grand explosions of love and anger and wire hanger frustration.

This film is a perfect example of accidental camp. The film was released as a serious drama addressing child abuse. But the crowds of gay men cackling at Dunaway's every line soon made it apparent that the audience was seeing it as something else.

5. Valley of the Dolls (1967)

What could possibly happen to three, attractive young women who meet in New York on their way to fame and fortune in the entertainment biz? In the hands of writer Jacqueline Susann, plenty. Based on the wildly successful novel, the film version of Valley of the Dolls follows Anne (Barbara Parkins), Neely (Patty Duke), and Jennifer (the late Sharon Tate) as they attempt to make it in this biz we call show. Successes and failures both professional and private abound and no one makes it out without substance abuse issues.

Along the way Broadway legend Helen Lawson (played by Queen of the scenery-chewers Susan Hayward) stands as a bitchy moral compass, a survivor who turns wig catastrophes into victory laps.

Valley of the Dolls has always been over-the-top, and it is that quality that turns this cinematic soap opera into camp. Over time, the film's desire to shock its audience has only increased that campiness. The sensationalism of drug abuse, sex scandals, homosexuality, and naked pictures turns into laughs as the culture we live in now accepts these aspects of the Hollywood story as de rigeur. The recently reported re-make seems silly to me. What are these girls going to do to shock a modern audience? Get an abortion on live television... on the moon? Part of the joy of this film is the kitsch of the Sixties, that like a fine wine will continue to improve with age. There's no need to make any new bottles of it.

So those are my favorite camp films. What are yours?

Welcome to Lance's Werthwhile Classic Movie Diary!

Welcome, Movie (or Lance) Fans!

I am a classic movie nut. Everyone who knows me knows it. My family knew it when I papered my bedroom walls with Marilyn Monroe posters. My friends knew it when I loudly complained at our local watering hole that Christina Crawford's liar-liar-pants-on-fire book, Mommie Dearest ruined Joan Crawford's cinematic legacy. Everyone who's been on a date with me knows it when I make a Palm Beach Story reference and they stare blankly at me, my chances of getting laid disappearing like Rudy Vallee's chances of making it with Claudette Colbert. (That's a Palm Beach Story reference for those of you who have never been on a date with me.) I'm an out, loud and proud classic movie lover. So why not share that love with literally everyone on the internets, by writing a blog about movies?

So whenever I see something worth blogging about- a great old movie I've seen, a newer movie that doesn't make me roll my eyes, one of the silver screen greats passing away, a notable anniversary, or anytime something pops into my black and white mind- you can read about it here.

To get things started, how's about my thoughts on some movies I saw in 2015?

Weekend (2011)
I'd heard my gay mates and reviewers everywhere talk about how great this movie was. But because I have an aversion to movies where pretty people get to live fantastic gay lives that just make me envious, I sort of avoided it. I shouldn't have. There's nothing to envy in this dark romance. Weekend is equal parts hopeful love story and tragic, fatalistic love story. Not since Midnight Cowboy (1969) have I gotten a boner and cried all in the same movie.
Note- Do not watch this film with a man you've just fallen in love with who lives in another country, so you can't really be together. Trust me.

The Innocents (1961)
I love female gothic films. I've written papers on them. Female gothic films are to me what pizza is to fat kids. So I had to see this movie. Like a more spectral version of Rebecca (1940), Deborah Kerr is a governess who heads to a lonely manse in the countryside of England to take care of two creepy kids who seem like pint-sized adults. Things soon start going bump in the night and Deborah gets to walk through dark halls with candles questioning her own sanity. The look and sound of the film are terrifying and Deborah Kerr is always worth the price of admission.

Inside Out (2015)
I don't normally do kids movies, but the aforementioned foreign man who has become my boyfriend loves them. So I went, and like just about everyone else in the world, was charmed by this imaginative depiction of how our inner lives grow from childhood. What makes the concept of the different "emotional voices" work spectacularly is the voice casting. Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Bill Hader, and Mindy Kaling are all the embodiment of their various animated emotions. And Richard Kind as the manifestation of our unleashed childhood imagination was so spot-on that I could swear I heard Bing-Bong in my own head after I left the movie. This one will take the Best Animated Feature Oscar at this year's awards easily (Sorry, Minions). It might even nab a Best Picture nom. Not bad for a kiddie movie.

Pinky (1949)
I'm intrigued by Hollywood films about race and one groundbreaking film I'd always heard about was Pinky. Based on the novel by Cid Ricketts Sumner (who names their kid Ricketts?), the film stars Jeanne Crain as a light-skinned black woman who returns to her hometown to see her mother (Ethel Waters) who is devastated to find out that her daughter has been "passing" as white. But the racist, old bat neighbor nee plantation owner (played deliciously by Ethel Barrymore- two Ethels in one movie!) needs a nurse- so this is a chance for Jeanne to figure out whether she is black or white. Along with films like Imitation of Life (1934), Hollywood seemed unable to really address the race issue without easing into it with plotlines involving people who were black- but not black. While it might seem dated and colorblind to the real issues, it is interesting to watch America's struggle with race relations play out on the big screen.

It Follows (2014)
Modern horror movies usually leave me pretty cold. They seem obsessed with gore and violation of women, and quite frankly, I get enough of that watching the Republican debates. But It Follows is different. This movie takes the familiar horror trope of punishing teens who have premarital sex to a whole new level. Poor Jay (Maika Monroe) is hot and bored, so of course she winds-up having sex with the boy she has a thing for. The problem is she awakens to find herself being chased by a naked spirit that only she can see. How can she get rid of it? She has to have sex with someone else which will pass the relentless, clothing-averse spook onto them. The moral question is scrumptious and the Kubrickian camerawork and John Carpenter homage score make this film legitimately scary.

The Skeleton Twins (2014)
Like modern horror, modern comedies often leave me scratching my head saying, "What was so funny?" I'm more of a Preston Sturges than a Seth Macfarlane. But this movie about two horribly damaged adult siblings was funny... and sad. It's also sad. Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are so wonderfully connected and yet disconnected as the titular twins. Hader plays Milo without all the effete giggling of his famous Stefan character and Wiig has grown into an actress with chops bigger than her SNL: Weekend Update beginning. The emotional tie between these two feels real- and while something feeling "real" on-screen is not a pre-requisite for cinematic success- in a story that hinges on the relationship between two such oddball characters, it does elevate the film above simple comedy.

The Martian (2015)
Matt Damon plays Ripley from the Alien movies only without any alien. This film is the thinking man's space thriller with the focus being on problem-solving rather than explosions. If it weren't for Damon's charming screen persona, this movie would have held all the interest of a NASA training film about the benefits of duct tape. Ridley Scott makes everything look properly cinematic and with all the popular support, expect this film to land a Best Picture and Best Director nom at this year's Academy Awards. But seriously, after seeing what Cuaron did with Gravity (2013), I expected something more... and if Matt Damon was stranded alone on another planet, wouldn't he wear pants less often?

Brute Force (1947)
This would have to be my pick for my favorite movie I saw last year. One of my old Hollywood mentors, Steve Vaught- Hollywood Historian sent me home from Palm Springs with the Criterion DVD of Brute Force, and I am so happy I shoved it into my carry-on. Jules Dassin directs this gritty look at the male prison system without all the camp one-liners and Edward G. Robinson tough guys that usually populate earlier prison films. Burt Lancaster (He's in prison... of course I'm watching) keeps trying to break out, but power-hungry prison captain Munsey (a truly evil performance from Hume Cronyn) always gets his man. But can anyone ever stop Burt Lancaster from getting what he wants? Dassin helped institutionalize cinema verite qualities in noir and this film is a high-point for his career. These men are complicated. The prison system is complicated. This movie is not. It works simply to convey the complexity of its topic. With great work from an ensemble cast full of "isn't he's?", I was riveted... and not just because Burt takes his shirt off.

Tangerine (2015)
You know that movie that everyone was crowing about because it was shot entirely on an iPhone? This is that movie. I'll be honest. I'm not impressed by the idea that something was shot on a phone. Movies should look like movies, not like a click-bait Youtube channel. But just as movie pioneers lugged giant, boxy film cameras up mountains and through deserts to create movies, director Sean Baker has upped his cellplan and turned out a compelling piece of modern verite. Sin-Dee (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) has just been released from jail and is shocked to hear from her best friend Alexandra (Maya Taylor) that her pimp boyfriend has been cheating on her. What follows is a modern-day trans odyssey for truth, love, and a Los Angeles donut shop. As Baker's phone runs all over L.A. in the pursuit of these harried people, we get the sense that the veil between make-believe Hollywood and real life has been pierced- if only for one Christmas Eve. Caitlyn Jenner is campaigning heavily for the movie and its leads- but you shouldn't expect too much Oscar love for this little gem.

Well, that was some of what I saw in 2015.
What do you think?