F**k The Best!- The Best Best Pictures in History

No! I did not watch the Oscars last night! Maybe I was scared of what I would do if Glenn Close lost the Best Actress contest. Maybe I was scared I'd have nightmares of David Korin's wig-shaped set. Maybe I'm a lonely old movie queen who got drunk, watched Spike Jonze's her (2013) and cried into his MacBook.

Whatever the case, it wasn't until this morning that I learned the winners and losers of the coveted statuette. One winner in particular stood out. Whether it's comparisons to the old-fashioned Driving Miss Daisy (1989), the Shirley Family's disgust with Nick Vallelonga's version of the story about their relative, or Seth Meyer's pretty-spot-on parody of white-written black rights narratives, Green Book (2018) is the most maligned Best Picture winner since Crash (2004).

What struck me is the idea that whether or not Green Book is the Best Picture of the class of '18 or not, the mantle of Best Picture often carries with it the idea that the winner will be a superlative example of film for many years. I don't think that happens as often as the Academy would like.





So whether it's a sense of firsts, unmistakable artistry that is constantly copied or remade,  or a movie that's worked it's way into our popular zeitgeist, here's my list of Best Picture winners that have that special something that I think will stand the test of time:

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
It Happened One Night (1934)
Gone with the Wind (1939)
Rebecca (1940)
Casablanca (1943)

The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
All About Eve (1950)
On the Waterfront (1954)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Ben Hur (1959)

The Apartment (1960)
West Side Story (1961)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
The Sound of Music (1965)
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
The Godfather (1972)
Rocky (1976)
Annie Hall (1977)

Terms of Endearment (1983)
The Silence of the Lambs (1993)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Titanic (1997)






That's my list. You think I left something off? Feel free to tell me what you think.

In the meantime, let's see whether Olivia Colman finds a rabbit boiling on her stove...

Imagine This- Son of Rambow

I love coming across little film gems, and this week thanks to the Netflix DVD service (yes, I still use it- and they will pull those red envelopes out of my cold, dead hands) I stumbled onto delightful British indie, Son of Rambow (2007).

I'm not particularly drawn to most childhood best friends flicks (unless there's a body ala Stand by Me (1986)), but this tale of two misfits really made me misty. Rambow is like Wes Anderson set Rushmore (1998) in an English school without his trademark aestheticism. Young Will Proudfoot (gangly Bill Milner) has a very active artist's imagination- which isn't that big a deal- until you realize he is being raised in one of those religious cults that doesn't allow contact with modern technology.

So while the other kids get to watch a video in class, Will sits in the hall doodling fantastical cartoons in his bible. That's where he meets school ne'er-do-well Lee Carter (the fiendishly deviant Will Poulter) who immediately recognizes a good mark when he sees one. Lee cons and guilts Will into starring as the "stuntman" in the film he's making for a young person's film contest- but once Will gets a gander at Lee's bootleg video of First Blood, an obsession is born.

Will's imagination takes flight (along with a dog statue attached to a kite) and the two never-belongs use a video camera to expand their worlds and their friendship. Visiting French foreign language student Didier Revol (appropriately gender indistinct Jules Sitruk) inserts his cool self into the film and the boys experience their version of art vs. popularity.

The film never dips too deeply into ooey gooey friendship- just enough to make us feel the loneliness that these two boys desperately wish to fill. Director and writer Garth Jennings keeps it light with wry Eighties nostalgia and imaginative blendings of illustration and VHS recording. The underground new wave club where kids don eyeliner, drink Coke with Pop Rocks, and dance to Siouxsie and the Banshees is a magical place that I wish had existed for me.

And kids smoke. Awesome.

The Big Screen in the Sky: RIP Albert Finney

A sad start to this Friday with the news that actor Albert Finney has passed. He seemed tailor-made to play a rebellious Brit at a time when youth culture exploded. But that sparkling deviltry never left his roles even as he aged in a film career that spanned almost sixty years. Finney earned five Oscar noms (never won- Geesh!) and a knighthood that he summarily rejected- a very Tom Jones thing to do. Finney was 82.






Lance's Werthwhile Finney Picks:

Tom Jones (1963)- This is the movie that shot Finney to international stardom and his first Oscar nomination. And why not? He's hot as hell in it- in a naughty British sort of way. I once dated a guy who looked like a young Albert Finney. I have very good taste in men.

Two for the Road (1967)- Finney and Hepburn make the perfect imperfect couple in this swingin' Stanley Donan dram-com.

Murder on the Orient Express (1974)- In a cast crowded with stars like Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman, Sean Connery, Anthony Perkins, Vanessa Redgrave et al., Finney's Poirot takes a backseat to none of them and earns another Oscar nom.

Under the Volcano (1984)- This character piece earned Finney his fourth Oscar nom as a drunk bureaucrat who is headed for the end- but doing it his way.

Erin Brockovich (2000)- While Julia Roberts (and her rack) may have been the focus of this popular little woman vs. the big guy flick, Finney is a wonderfully gruff counterbalance to the Roberts charm. It was the last time he would be announced as an Oscar nominee.

Big Fish (2003)- As the inveterate storyteller in Tim Burton's father-son masterwork, Finney's charm puts over every one of his tall tales, even the most un-swallowable of them.

Skyfall (2012)- He's an old groundskeeper with a shotgun who helped raised James Bond. What more could you want?

Oscar Nom-Nom-Noms 2019

I know everyone has been breathlessly waiting for my opinions on the recent Oscar nominations- but I've had a lot of feelings to sort through. And I've concluded that the Academy is very schizo this year.

On one hand they nominated blockbuster fare like Black Panther, A Star is Born, and Bohemian Rhapsody.

On the other hand, they nominated artsy and foreign flicks like Roma, The Favorite, and Cold War.

One one hand the diversity in the nominations is spectacular with Black Panther, BlacKkKlansmen, and Roma up for Best Picture.

On the other hand, there are the cultural lightening rods of Green Book, Bohemian Rhapsody and Kevin Hart.

On one hand you have Lady Gaga.

On the other you have Yalitza Aparicio.

Whatever hand you're sitting on, here's what I think of some of my favorite Oscar categories this year.

Best Foreign-Language Feature

In a category that is perpetually a crap shoot for office Oscar pools since only a very few people actually watch all the nominees, this year there's a pretty good horse race. Roma is sucking all the air out of the room, but Cold War earned a Best Director for Pawel Pawlikowski. So maybe Roma's presence in the Best Picture category means that Cold War could grab the win in this category.

Best Animated Feature

The hugely popular Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse has a chance to break the Disney Pixar stranglehold on this category that it has maintained since Rango creeped in in 2012. It's nice to see Wes Anderson's crafty and delightful Isle of Dogs among the nominees.







Best Documentary Feature

To quote an old lady-crush of mine, "What? Did they have a hemorrhoid for breakfast?" This category missed the mark entirely. I'm sure RBG is great- and the beloved subject practically insures a win. But neither Three Identical Strangers nor Won't You Be My Neighbor? made the nomination cut. Strangers might be the most engaging film I've seen all year and Neighbor was a perfect antidote to the perpetual Trumpian news cycle. But apparently Academy members had heaping bowls of hemorrhoids for breakfast.


Best Costume Design

This year the contenders check all the boxes for fashion genre movies. Period Pieces- The Favourite and Mary Queen of Scots. Imaginative Fantasy- Mary Poppins Returns and Black Panther. The- Oh I guess that's all the fashion genre movie boxes. Somehow the Coen Brothers' Netflix Western The Ballad of Buster Scruggs managed a nod- but in my opinion, Black Panther has this. The design on this film is amazing and is one of the reasons it transcends the typical comic book blockbuster.

Best Adapted Screenplay
This category is anybody's guess. Too close to call. But if I had my druthers, it would go to BlacKkKlansman.

Best Original Screenplay
Roma will probably win this one- even though nothing interesting happens until 2/3 of the movie has unspooled. Anything but Green Book, I say.

Best Supporting Actor

First of all, how is Mahershala Ali not in the Best Actor category??? Is Green Book really about the white guy? Loved Adam Driver in BlacKkKlansmen- but Mahershala should make space for a second Oscar for Driving Dr. Shirley.

Best Supporting Actress

It's a The Favourite girlfight with Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz probably splitting the vote and allowing the win for one of the other nominees. Regina King preferably.



Best Actor

This year it's the battle of the biographical prosthetics with Christian Bale's Dick Cheney vs. Rami Malek's Freddie Mercury. I thought Bradley Cooper was the best thing about A Star is Born, and since he was denied a Best Director nomination, maybe the Academy will throw him an acting bone.

Best Actress

For the love of God give Glenn Close her Oscar! Seven nominations and no wins. Don't make her another Thelma Ritter. Her competition this year is not as stiff as some of her other go arounds, so I'm confident she will ascend to the stage. Sorry, Lady Gaga. It's an honor to be nominated. Next time star in a movie that doesn't turn out to be about your co-star. And I've loved Olivia Colman since she starred in British 80's science show spoof Look Around You.

Best Director

Alfonso Cuaron cause the massive Netflix PR machine has convinced everyone that Roma is the best thing since sliced queso. Glad to see Spike Lee in competition. Sad to not see Barry Jenkins.


Best Picture

There's something here for everyone which is a good thing. But I'm not sure there's one that my heart is really invested in. I'm super apathetic about Roma which I think had one amazing scene and the rest feels like watching your neighbor who you don't know that well show you a home movie about his terribly important childhood. Black Panther was a refreshing and exciting imagining of how a comic book movie can be transformed by other cultures- but it is still a Marvel movie. The Roma train seems to have all the steam, but who knows? Maybe Kevin Hart will jump on stage and declare Green Book the winner.

The only thing that is certain in this year's Oscars is the terror that will grip presenters who have to pronounce the names of nominees Yalitza Aparicio, Yorgos Lanthimos, and Pawel Pawlikowski.

Lance's Werthwhile Movie 2018 Movie Countdown

It's that time of year again when I look back at the movies I saw this year that made me all fuzzy, fractured, or freaked out.

Here (in no particular order) are the movies that made me squeee in 2018:

La Habanera (1937)/All That Heaven Allows (1955)/Written on the Wind (1956)

I went on a Douglass Sirk-et this year. Sirk is the Master of Melodrama! The Titan of Technicolor! The Sultan of Soap Opera! I hadn't seen two of his biggest films, Heaven and Wind, and they not only didn't disappoint, they enchanted me. So I jumped at the chance to see one of his very early Austrian works, La Habanera. Once you get past the fact that everyone's speaking German in Puerto Rico, this film proves that Sirk had an early affinity for the decadence of melodrama on film.

Shoeshine (1946)

I'm a hug fan of Vittorio De Sica's Bicycle Thieves (1948). In particular, his postwar verite style really strikes a chord with me both visually and dramatically. When you're literally shooting your movie in the ruins of a war-torn city, it adds a little something' somethin'. It really works in Shoeshine. Two young Roman boys get by the only way they know how- shining shoes and dealing in contraband. It's a De Sica film, so they get caught and wind-up in a juvenile facility that mixes Lord of the Flies with Orange is the New Black. The film is tragic, and beautiful, showing the tenderness between young men who have nothing but each other... and a horse.

Three Identical Strangers (2018)

This documentary about three triplets who were separated at birth might actually be my favorite film of the year. (No, it's not you Roma (2018).) Director Tim Wardle expertly unspools this story in such a way that around every corner is a new, shocking surprise. I literally yelled at the screen when I saw it. Look for this one to give Won't You Be My Neighbor (2018) a run for its money for Best Documentary at this year's Oscars.

Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

Spencer Tracy, Montgomery Clift, Burt Lancaster, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich, Richard Widmark, Maximillian Schell, and even a pre-Trek William Shatner and a pre-Hogan's Heroes Werner Klemperer. Now THAT'S a cast. I'd heard about Stanley Kramer's Oscar-winning drama about the infamous Nuremberg Trials, but the three hour running time often kept me from slipping it into my DVD player. I'm glad I finally did. The performances are a primer in film acting and the concentration camp footage wrenching. Before this film, the footage (some of which was shot by director George Stevens) had never been shown in public. The message of questioning what we are told to do when we know it is wrong resonates across 57 years so clearly. It makes this movie feel less like a history lesson and more like a warning.

God's Own Country (2017)

While everyone was falling over themselves about Call Me By Your Name (2017) this English gay indie gave me all the feels that were missing for me in Name. You can read all about my dirty thoughts here.

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Director Taika Waititi hit a home run last year with Thor: Ragnarok (2017). But three years earlier he  directed, wrote, and starred in a real comic gem. What We Do is a mockumentary about a group of vampires living in New Zealand. The Real World meets Twilight as these roommates deal with girlfriends, chore wheels, and being undead. It's a bloodsucking hoot- and will soon be an FX TV show.

The future's so bright for Taika, he'd better wear shades.

Ex Machina (2014)

Ex Machina does what sci-fi does better than any other genre- expose our humanity (or lack thereof) through the lens of the machines we create. Caleb (the pleasingly pale Domhall Gleason) is a hotshot programmer who wins the chance to visit the wilderness compound of tech guru and self-imposed hermit Nathan (furry Oscar Isaac). Caleb is humbled to be tasked by this genius to help test his latest cyborg, Ava (the partially there Alicia Vikander.)

But he quickly discovers that he is just another one of the guinea pigs in Nathan's heartless experiment. The visual effects for Ava are perfection. But their Oscar-winning wizardry does not detract from the compelling performances and the harrowing story of a world perhaps not so far away from the technology-obsessed time we currently text in.

The Shape of Water (2017)

I've gotten a lot of flack from people I respect on this Oscar-winning movie. I stand by my original blog post. Shape of Water is beautiful to look at and is a loving opus to classic movies,  re-transmitting their power to stir our imaginations to a new generation. Add in uncharacteristic performances from Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, and Richard Jenkins and you have a film that I think is better than Call Me By Your Name... but maybe not Get Out (2017). I loved it. So there.

The Thin Red Line (1998)

Terrence Malik isn't so much of a film director, as a film poet. What he has done in each of his cinematic creations is transmit feelings and emotions not necessarily through a tight plot line, but through powerful, fragmented imagery.

The complicated and conflicted realities of the Vietnam War seem to be tailor-made for the Malik treatment: the loyalty of a commander to his men, the natural beauty of the country, the desire to help human beings, the urge to rip their bodies apart with machine guns, the fear of dying, and the power of hope- no matter how futile.

Thin Red Line is my favorite Vietnam war film with perhaps the exception of Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket (1987). The uber-talented cast under the guidance of this exceptional director brings the emotions of Vietnam to vivid life- not to shock us- but to allow us to experience them.

Coco (2017)

This one goes under the category of Films That Make Lance Bawl Like a Baby. Sure the animation that takes inspiration from Dia de Muertos and Mexican culture and art is ravishing. But it's the heart of this movie that stays with you. I challenge anyone to listen to little Miguel sing the song "Remember Me" to his failing great grandmother without getting misty. We all have family members that have passed on- and Coco reminds us that passing on what made them special is the only way to keep them with us.

Black Panther (2018)

I'm tired of the super hero genre. The stories all sound the same to me. The various origin stories that always portray conflicted heroes coming from a place of otherness while the supermodel bodies and faces of the heroes themselves make it impossible for me to relate. More things blow-up than you can keep track of. Superheroes save the entire planet, proudly standing over the unknown number of bodies of citizens who were vaporized without so much as a screen credit. And somehow I'm supposed to feel safer after this.

So imagine my shock when I watched Black Panther with utter and complete enjoyment. Maybe it's the amazing African-inspired styling of the costumes, set, and gadgets. Maybe it's the amazing black faces that we rarely see in such numbers unless we're watching a slavery epic.

Maybe it's the equal-pairing of women and men in this world- both sexes given the ability to rule and kick-ass. Maybe it's Michale B. Jordan's half-naked body. Whatever, it is- Black Panther feels fresh in a genre that needed a real shake-up. I suspect Black Panther will give A Star is Born (2018) some heavy competition at this year's Oscar's.
Wakanda forever indeed!

To all my readers and friends- may 2019 give you all the movie thrills you desire!